Ode to the Apricot

Remember a couple of weeks (months) ago when I posted a poll asking whether or not my dad should write a post about apricots? The results are in, and it's a resounding yes. He put it off for quite a while, but it has finally arrived and I am sharing it with you today. It seems that there will never be an accompanying post about apricots, but sometimes you have to take what you can get.

Oh I have roamed the earth a lot,
In search of wonders God hath wrought.
Of all I’ve learned (and all I’ve taught) –
The loveliest is the apricot.

Ah! Guardez-vous vos haricots,
Vos champignons, vos omellottes
(Et plus les autres francais-mots) –
Mais n’ m’ quittez pas mes abricots!

Please do not serve me canned cumquat,
Nor Peking Duck, nor other rot-
ten stuff that Chinese people plot
To foist upon us cold or hot.

And as for German chow – Mein Gott!
Vergessen Sie es – I’ll touch it not.
Put fladdlesuppe back in the pot!
Dienen Sie mir eine Aprikot!

My do-in-law, a polyglot
Who speaks in many tongues (a lot
of them too ancient to be taught
to modern youth) has searched and sought
For Magyar rhymes with “apricot” –
But says that one existeth not!

Now whether you believe or not
This averment, I care not a jot
(although I say it does seem fraught
with bullsh*t, bunk, and utter rot).
But I do beseech, as I’ve besot:
Give unto me an apricot.